CAITLIN ROWLEY
composer

The pitfalls of perfectionism

I have a confession: I’m a perfectionist. I always spend far too long on pretty much everything I write, tweaking and poking and looking for that point where the whole thing seems to balance on a pin. So far it’s worked out OK for me. I mean, people quite often say rather nice things about my music, so I must be doing something right, yes?

But it bugs me, this perfectionism. I am positively green with envy for people who can dash off a piece in a weekend – my 60-second solo violin piece, Diabolus, which was supposed to be a quick project, took me 3 weeks to complete. The 3 minutes of Carrion Comfort has taken 10 months! So on my private list of things to work on this year, and especially with the prospect of a Masters degree coming up, has been to experiment with some techniques to get the writing happening faster.

My feeling is that if I can write faster and fuss less over the tiny details, then maybe I’ll learn more. In David Bayles & Ted Orland’s fantastic book Art and Fear, one of the authors tells a story:

The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pounds of pots rated a “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the “quality” group had sat theorising about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

This story makes me wonder: if I’m currently someone who only had to produce one pot, and the work of those producing many pots was ultimately better – how much better could my work be if I could make myself loosen up and produce many more works in the time I’d usually take to write one?

So this month, I’ve let myself be talked into doing the RPM Challenge. It’s a bit like NaNoWriMo or Creative Pact, but the goal is to record an album (10 tracks or 35 minutes) over the course of February – that’s 2-3 recordings a week! Obviously for me to even try to write 2-3 pieces a week would be seriously jumping in the deep end, so I’m setting myself a goal of writing 4-5 pieces in the month – about one a week – and the rest of the work will be finishing off recordings of other pieces I have that have been languishing without even decent MIDI recordings for far too long.

If you want to follow my progress, I’ll be blogging it (more or less) daily over at One Creative Thing – and of course, burbling about it regularly on Twitter.

If you want to join in, please do! You can find out more at the RPM Challenge website and join up, then post a comment here with the address of your blog or SoundCloud feed or wherever you’ll be documenting it.

Tagged with: article | 4 comments

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  • http://twitter.com/AllPiano Catherine Shefski

    Love this post! I’ve been a procrastinating perfectionist for most of my life until this year when I decided to record one piano piece every week and share it online. Of course the pieces aren’t perfect, but they’re the best they can be at that moment.

    A Soundcloud ‘friend’ sent me a copy of Art & Fear and I loved it! I think you’d really like another book I just read “Turning Pro” by Steven Pressfield. It’s short and really hits home. 

    (I’m bookmarking the RPM challenge for next year. Sorry I missed it….)

    • http://caitlinrowley.com/ Caitlin Rowley

      Thanks, Catherine! I’ve been meaning to look at Pressfield’s “Turning Pro” – his “War of Art” is a fantastic book and really made sense of the difference between “playing at” being a composer and actually being one, which was a real turning-point for me.

      I think forcing ourselves out of our comfort zones is hugely important for forward progress whatever our artform – RPM did so much for me, not least my confidence and willingness to take a risk. I’m now working on another insane-deadline and risk-filled enterprise: a mini opera for ENO’s Mini Operas project!